Hello all you Johnston fans, it's been like 8 months or so since we updated our blog. Life has been fun, challenging, uh a roller coaster would be a great description. Most of you know about our surprise pregnacy in October and our horrible miscarriage on January 30,2008. I'm glad we are into late spring now, those early days of loss wore on my emotions, and I just wanted to be on the other side of grief.
Thanks be to God for his all consuming peace and patience with my broken heart that so desperately needed to be repaired. He is the ultimate healer and gave me friends who spoke peace and hope when I just couldn't see it for myself.
After a few months of working through our loss, I went through a series of emotions that could've been classified as crazy I'm sure and Jason was kind enough to play along. He's a great guy, and a saint in my book for putting up with me!! So I began to calculate when to get pregnant again, how soon, trying for a boy or girl etc etc. I just really needed something happy to think about and focus on. Then I sat down and watched Idol Gives Back and I felt this overwhelming sense of how wrong it was that there are so many people especially children who have no hope, no resource, and in the case of the children no parents. I couldn't figure out what I was feeling but I knew there's a part I can play in this and started praying about what in the world was stirring in my heart. So then I go to church and hear a missionary from Mozambique speak on the suffering of his people and the hope missions and God brought to him.
All of this was mixing together and turning into a passion that didn't have a focus until I suddenly thought "What if we adopted a child?" I am passionate about my kids who are freakin awesome I might add, but even more than that God gave me a passion for children a long long time ago. So I asked God to show me if this was a fire he gave me and if it was to make it burn til it hurt. So..... lesson here... be careful what you pray for!! :).
I suddendly began researching agencies, reading as much material as I could handle each day and praying for direction.
I was lead to All God's Children International after seeing them on an adoption story on the discovery channel. I researched them and loved what I saw. So the dream began to take shape.
Since finding our agency we have completed our application, been accepted, and yesterday we sent our contracts and a LOT of money to get started.
Throughout these beginning days of this process God has made himself so clear and has been guiding our path so directly that I just know regardless of the ups and downs it's just gonna be ok.
I think when we tune into what breaks God's heart (homeless , mother and fatherless children) we begin to see something bigger than ourselves and begin to feel him smile on our hearts cry to make this world better one person at a time.
I really don't know what to expect in this process - but I do know that I am carrying a child in my spirit that I don't know yet, I don't have a face or a name just a dream to be a mommy and honor the request of God to love the least of these.
As we go through our journey I'M going to blog to keep you all updated in internet land, I know that there are sooooooo many already wanting updates and have questions - so ask away. I don't know much more than you but want to share the dream.
My hope and prayer is that through this experience all of us will begin to see the bigger picture and hopefully more hearts will open to adoption and loving those who have no hope.
May God bless you and keep you,
Kala
