Things that make me go Hmmmm....

Ok so I'm trying to be a trooper, we still aren't able to move into our house. I haven't been bloggin cause I've been packin' and to no avail. We have stuff all over the place literally trying to ready to move to the new house and are we able to yet?? NO! The carpet guys scheduled 4 days for vinyl and carpet. It's been 6 work days for them and they still aren't done. I don't know why it's taking so long, a word that starts with L and ends with azy, comes to mind but not quite sure if that's the real reason. So I'm not tolerating this whole limbo deal too well. If you call I may actually sound chipper cause you'll probably catch me not ticked but beware..... if I freak out you might want to hang up! It would be in both our best interests!!

So speaking of freaking out, with the stress of new move, new job, Jas working on the new house and not home a lot, I've been oh, what's a good word?? Edgy? Yeah that will do. I'm 'edgy'. Sidenote - Hope is about one of the funniest kids I know who single handily can put me to my 'nice mommy' limit in roughly 5 seconds flat. Ok so the kids are in the tub, swimming, I'll let you imagine that. And I'm trying to get them out the door. Faithie had school, Hope MIkey and I had to get to my job and we were running out of time. So my tone quickly went from calmly saying " Please get out of the tub, do not put your hands on each other rudely, I don't want to be wet please don't splash around...etc etc" So we were there for a bit to frantically looking at the clock and rushing about high pitched words like " GET OUT NOW, YOUR GONNA BE LATE, IT LOOKS LIKE SOME LITTLE GIRLS JUST LOST PRIVILEGES TODAY - ALL DAY!!!!"
No more mister oh I mean ms. nice guy. I was not havin it. Another sidenote, my kids mood and tone is a reflection of my mood and tone most days so if I'm stressed, they're stressed. Following? So what happens next? What I try to avoid which would be almost utter chaos. Water everywhere, Mikey's crying, Faith's crying cause Hope hit her. I'm about it tears realizing I totally handled this the wrong way. I calmly got down and looked at them and said " Ok listen, I'm gonna try to be the best mommy I can be. Will you please be the best sisters and daughters you can be? That means obey mommy and daddy, be helpful and respectful? Can you do that?" And their mood changed. Faith decided that was a good idea and because Hope wants to show off how 'good' she can be she followed along. I'm pretty sure at this point Mikey was picking his nose but that's beside the point. So off we go, they shaped up, obeyed and we had a much better morning.

So this incident was a few days ago, and yesterday I was talking to the kids in the car as we headed into the grocery store and was saying something like " Ok, now I'm gonna be the nicest mommy I can be and you guys are gonna be the nicest kids you can be right? I want you to be helpful and not give me any funny business." Faith's response was "Wait a minute we have to do that for more than 1 day? I thought that was just for the other day?" And I lost it. I was laughing so hard I thought I was gonna cry.
My goal is to not be a meany, I used to yell and have tried to remove that from my tone all together (it got me nowhere and my kids didn't deal with it well, and I hated how I sounded). I want to be calm, loving, and respectful so my kids will be calm, loving and respectful. But I am also human and struggle with controlling my mouth and temper sometimes. Enter apologizing. I've gotten very good at humbly asking my kids to forgive me for my rudeness. And it works! Now when they get in trouble for their tone, they are starting to see why it's important to not only stop the bad tone but to apologize. Man, nobody told me parenting was gonna require this much patience! Jeez.
This is why I'm so stinkin glad that God delicately teaches me little ways to show me how to be better. Be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, daughter in law. In all these areas of my life I need peace, patience, a humble heart and a spirit of love. I think this will be a battle that will not be over soon. Not even in this lifetime perhaps, but I'm so excited for the renewing each morning that I can start again. Today doesn't have to be like yesterday. Amen!!

Oh I read a friends blog the other day who talked about her word for the year:
CHILL is my 2009 word. This year will require more patience, understanding and ability to just let it go with our new church transition and bringing our boy home so my word is chill. What's yours??

UGH!

Ok so we're moving. UGH UGH UGH! I hate moving. The realization of how much crap we've really compiled in a short amount of time is utterly insane. I will be honest I'm not technically "packing" at this point but I have started to declutter and process through like, well I'm up to 2 drawers ok, I've had high hopes of doing more but let's face it, it's not happenin yet. Poor Mikey has been sick, yet again, so then the little dear gave it to me, so a cold's been kickin my tail for a good week plus working 2 jobs, etc etc. Don't you feel bad for me? Jeez I sound pathetic. Oh well. I am however excited that our new house will have all new paint, flooring, kitchen counter tops and if I get my way a new tub and toilet in the main bathroom.

I haven't really mentioned this journey to a senior pastor roll simply because it wasn't the right time or place to discuss such a major thing and we didn't want people finding out til we were really ready to tell them. But here's the scoop on this process. On December 30th 2007, we visited this little church on a Sunday off cause anybody who works at a church knows when you've got a day off and you end up at work, you don't actually get to have that intended day off. And we fell in love with the church while we were there and secretly started thinking "Hmmm, what if...." Then e found out last Jan 26th to be exact (I only know that because we were sitting in a pool of tears over the loss of our 4th baby and 'happened' to get an email from our district superintendent asking if Jason would preach and if he would consider giving his resume for the position.)So we prayerfully sought what to do and gave him Jason's resume. I only mention the loss of the baby because in that whole time of grief over and over again I can see where God specifically gave us hope in the midst of despair and this was the first. So then we knew the pastor that was at the church was retiring end of March so we expected to hear soon after whether we would be interviewed or not. After like 6 weeks or so of waiting we found out they had compiled a list of candidates to interview and Jason was not on the first list. We felt totally ripped off. Jason had been filling in there as they needed help and had a great response from everyone and even had board members tell him he was on the top of their list. So we were thinking this was a slam dunk for us. Anyway, we kept of distance secretly thinking it wasn't over. And it wasn't. After they burned through the first 3 people they went back to the drawing board. This time we just knew we'd be on that list, right? Who wouldn't want Jason as their pastor? He's amazing, so the next list came out and we didn't hear boo about it. Another let down. I was pretty frustrated and just decided that God had shut that door and we would move on.
Around the end of October we found out Jason was the last of the last on the list and they were going to interview one other person and then it was Jas. Well the other guy already had another job so it was us. We were finally on. BUT at this point we were indifferent to the whole idea. As much as we wanted this next step if these people couldn't see the potential then we'd wait for the right place. So November 8th we interviewed and it went fantastic. We laughed, I cried, had a great discussion and ended the night with anticipation. We had left the room a few minutes before anyone else cause I was singing there the next morning and Jason was preaching so we went to mess with the sound system. All the sudden we hear them singing in the back room and they came running out saying, "We voted, we voted, it's unanimous, we want you to come!" And we were as thrilled as them. (side note - in the Nazarene church if you are voted by the board you have to also have a 2/3rd's majority from the congregation hence the preaching to intro the congregation to the pastor). So the next day went great and we had a potluck that Sunday night to meet and greet all the people. It was a great weekend. Then we waited for 3 weeks til they voted. The vote finally came on November 23rd. 40 yes 6 no. The 6 no we later found out just wanted the interim guy to stay and be their pastor even though that's not the way it works with an interim pastor. So we prayed and had some serious confirmations and some serious doubts. But in the end we took a step of faith that God was calling us to lead these people. And we are so excited. To see all the details that have come into place and to see family and friends rally around us as we say goodbye to one church family and go meet another one has been truly remarkable. I have felt more honored and blessed through the last 2 weeks than words can describe.
So it's down to moving. Which I hate but will endure yet again for the sake of obedience and opportunity to see God do some truly amazing things in this little church on the corner. So that's the journey we've been on. 2008 was the year of waiting and 2009 will be the year of REALITY. We will move to a new church and house, travel and bring our boy home from Ethiopia, and figure out what life looks like as a senior pastor with 4 KIDS!!!! Holy cow. Are we really ready for this? Who knows, maybe we're just young enough to not know the difference between stupidity and insanity? Or maybe we've allowed God to work on us til we were ready to be stretched? Again, I don't know. But what I do know is I'm highly anticipating this 2009 year as one to be remembered for years to come. 2008 sucked for me, I doubt it could get much worse in 2009 right? Huh, we'll see. Hehe. I am really excited though. Can't wait to recall the many miracles God performs publicly and in the depths of this little heart.

May 2009 be a year of anticipation for you all!!

Kala