I lost my mind!!

Ok not cause Jason's gone, although that hasn't helped. So I live in this little place called 'La La Land' where we can eat candy and our butts don't grow, where my children wake up saying, 'Mom what can I do for you today?', where mysteriously someone broke into my house, cleaned it, left mints on my pillow, stocked the fridge, and had homemade bread fresh out of the oven for me to indulge in. Ok so I want to live there, I don't actually, cause if I did you all wouldn't know about, I'd be hiddin that little treasure!! Anyway, I'm like the loftiest thinker, where even though I can be pessimistic, God gave me a wild, free imagination where I don't need details cause it will work out right? And I know my God is like huge, so that works out well. So I guess I never grew up cause that's the beauty and innocence of a child, anything and everything is possible because you haven't been tainted by negativity or the world or your friends or parents or the bullies at school. You can do and be whatever you want to be. That's where this little mind lives. So when I think about 'Gee what shall I do with my life?' I can't put my finger on it, I think teacher, tried that and NOPE, checked that off the list, I keep saying I'm going to nursing school but I don't know if that will ever happen. So anyway, I know I want to be with my kids, it feels right (and frustrating at times) but that's where I seem to click. I love kids. I love my kids, I love other people's kids. I'm a kid person. So the idea of adoption just clicks with me. I have a HUGE heart for kids, and whether I have more of my own or seek out the ones God lays on my heart, I'm open for the journey. Ok so back to loftiness for minute. When I felt God say "Adopt, you can do something for someone, go find your child' I was running for the nearest computer, praying to find the answers, and here we are today, waiting for our boy. But when God spoke, I acted. I didn't look at the price tag, which I know deters most people from adoption, I didn't flinch at any financial ramifications at all. I just went to work to find out how to come up with the money. It wasn't ever a deterrent. I believe God knows our financial situation, that whole heartedly we want to live debt free, make conscious choices to be money savvy and want to be freed up to live lives worthy of His approval. So I believe that He will help us get our boy home, and you know what it's ok if we still have a loan payment, which I have read on other blogs people who are against getting loans. Hey if you're one of them, that's great, I applaud you keeping it debt free but the timing of our adoption just so happened that we needed that money right then to get our boy and I do believe that it will be ok, maybe had we not gotten a loan it would've played out differently, I don't really care to debate, our family made a choice, it worked and we are happy all the more for having a face the to dream God gave us. Anyway, sorry for the tangent. I keep feeling like we need to be a catalyst. That our adoption isn't just about us and our son, that we have a chance to bring awareness, prayer, money, and dreams to other people whether they feel they can adopt and go for it, or they help someone else adopt. Whatever they feel God leading them to, may they be faithful and be a blessing. So we are lucky enough to have people in our lives that buy into adoption and are helping us find creative ways to raise the money. We did the yard sale, we have a family that sent out donation letters, and we have a family friend who is helping us put together a fundraiser/silent auction dinner. So here's where I start getting all La La Landish, I don't want all the money from the auction dinner. Granted I know we have to come up with money still,but I want to start an adoption grant through part of the money raised to help other local families feel empowered to not look at the bottom line but to follow the leading of God and through helping provide funding that may be more possible for more families. Anyway, for those of you who read this, please partner with me to lift high the dreams of one mommy who wants more kids and families than her own to see God move in mighty way and bring more babies and children home to their forever families. I feel like there's more here that Yakima needs an adoption ministry where we partner with families to get these kids home domestically or internationally. I just think we need to prepare for the rain, cause when we tap into what breaks God's heart, when we read all the scriptures that tell us to care for the widows and orphans, I think He is just waiting to produce greatness out of us. To help us to see the beauty that comes from investing in other people, in other children, and in other parts of our world. Down the street, or a million miles away. I feel like God is whispering "Take my hand, and I will show you the way to touch lives." I want to take His hand, don't you?