Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Life with Henok so far.....

Ok all, I have a MILLION emails and questions - how's he doing? How are the other kids doing? How are we doing? Does he sleep at night? Can he speak English? Yada yada yada. So I will post some VERY honest answers, well cause that's how I roll but also I would hate to paint an unrealistic picture of what it's like adopting an older child. Easy, NO! Worth it - A MILLION TIMES YES!!!
Henok is bubbly, energetic, funny, sweet, and oh so adorable. He is doing so much better than I could've dreamed. I will be honest I do live with anxiety right now, in my spirit I'm just uneasy thinking... "This is all gonna fall apart, he's gonna lose it and I'm gonna officially lose my mind..." I am proud to say that Henok is communicating VERY well for only being home like 11 days, am I counting right? Anyway, let me first answer the questions listed above and try to add detail where I can. Also, we've got some great pics of him on his new bike which is the most wonderful thing he has right now other than swimming at Papa Steve's pool, so I'll have to get those loaded. Ok here goes...
Henok is adjusting well. He has moments of sadness (of course), yes he's 4 so the word "No" or Not right now is guaranteed to tick him off. He eats like a horse although this is slowing down. As much as I want to control his food intake due to not wanting him sick as a stinkin dog I have given in to numerous rolls in one sitting, up to 5 bananas at one time, and 3 and 4 helpings of dinner if he likes it (this is proving to be more difficult in the States than in Ethiopia, he ate anything in front of him there - here however he's gotten quite picky.) So food is an issue at times, but even at that my own kids are picky so whatever.
How are the other kids doing? Great. We knew Faithie would be a rock, she just one amazing kid. Such a first born spirit, sweet, caring, helpful in fact I am counting down til school's out cause she is a great set of hands to help when I'm in the kitchen or folding laundry (which I HATE!). Hopie we knew would struggle and she is. She's trying to find out where she fits. I was told by Hope I don't love her because I wash the boys hair but not hers. I informed her that hurt my heart and by the way she's been washing her own hair for the last year, BUT if she wants me to do that I will, just ask me nicely don't say hurtful words. I don't think she intended to hurt my heart but that's how she's processing this. Now some attention she got is going to another kid, I must not love her. So I'm trying to keep it even steven and that's EXHAUSTING! Mikey has a playmate that loves to mimic him, follow him around, play all the time and be silly so he's good. The boys are on the same language level both learning words, of course Henok will take off he's 2 years older but for now they are buddy buddy for language!
How are we doing? Fine, beat at the end of the day. I'll be honest I used to roll my eyes at parents that put their kids to bed at 7:30. And honestly when the girls were young and Jas was a youth pastor it didn't fit our lifestyle to do that. These days however.... 8pm can't get here quick enough. And after the kids are down... peace out! The only night I've been up late since we got Henok was Sat night and that was because I started The Curious Case of Benjamin Button which I found fascinating. Brad Pitt is hot.. ok I digress. So we're doing good. My patience gets it limit each day and I wish I could love Henok like my other kids, what I mean by that is he's pretty attached to Jas but not to me yet and it's not easy to hug him tight, or he doesn't kiss so it's not easy to try to show love. It feels very forced but I'm trying to create a habit of physical touch with him, hugs, a kiss on the head whatever so that he knows I do love him and want him to get to the point he loves back. I also think I have unhealthy expectations for him, like when he gets upset I get frustrated and literally have to tell myself, ok his whole world changed give him time. I want him to just go with it and he's not there yet, maybe like 80% of the time he's down for whatever but the other 20% tries my patience. I do count my blessings though, he doesn't rage, he cries but no raging. He lets us hold him, he doesn't cuddle but we can hold him. He is silly and sweet and getting used to be in our family so we get to see even more silly stuff from him now that he is trusting us. All in all we're all doing ok.
Henok sleeps great at night, almost 12 hours. He goes down easier than our other 3, and isn't up at 5:45 am anymore. The memo finally got delivered,we Johnstons don't get up til 7am thank you very much! Jas puts him to bed, sings a few songs, rubs his back bada bing bada boom 10 min he's out, see ya at 7!
He is learning English. He knows what we've taught him so far. I use VERY basic sign like eat, hungry, drink, no thank you stuff. That's about it. Anything he touches we try and say the name. He's picking up quick. Everyday he understands more and more of what we say to him. It's nice! There's a man in Yak-town that speaks Amharic and we say him the other day. I realized as much as I want to communicate with Henok, he will more than likely lose his Amharic and that makes me sad. It's a part of him but we don't speak it so unfortunately he will lose it! Boohoo. That is sad.

My dreams for summer have already come true... Henok's home. We've been outside almost all day everyday, we play HARD and it's a blast. We're getting a new play structure that should keep all the kids entertained for HOURS everyday!We've been swimming this last weekend and hopefully many more weekends to come... hooray. The family of 6 will be playing all summer long thank you very much!! For all of you who are saying prayers for us.. keep it up..we sure need it. We're doing very well and I hope to get pics up soon of the kids on bikes. Too much fun!!

Blessings,
Kala

11 comments:

Matt said...

Great update. Thanks for taking the time to post it. Can't wait to see pictures of Henok with his brother and sisters.

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

Sounds like you are rockin' along!!!! So excited for you. With the attachment part- hang in there- IT DOES GET BETTER!!! Actually I remember someone saying at least a month for every year they are not with you....and that is pretty close to what we have experienced. Have a great time outdoors- we looovveee the outdoors too (that is why we are camp directors...he he he). Still praying for all of you!!!!

ckitt said...

Hey!! We have been thinking about you lots. I have wanted to call you but have figured you have been busy busy busy, so it was nice to hear it all in this post. Know that we are thinking of and praying for your family. Kenz wants to have Hopie over soon!!

missy said...

it's good to hear both the joys and the struggles. what a fun and precious family you have! lol about the brad pitt comment right in the middle of your update. :)

Cale and Kim said...

So glad to hear an update! I have a hard time updating and I only have 1! Sounds like overall, things are going well. I love your honesty and think it is great.

Jason & Kala said...

lol on the brad pitt. i'm sorry but he's to yummy to not post about. honestly people, if you don't agree your blind or weird!
kala

Eryn said...

Sounds like life is rolling along! You guys are doing great...I'm sure it will get easier and easier as everyone adjusts. (Well, how EASY can 4 kids be, but you knew that, right? :) )

Charisa said...

Kala! You are doing great! I can so relate to everything! re: food, Ab still struggles with food issues...so hang in there with that! and I can relate to the bedtime thing too! and I"m glad the memo on 7am went through finally! haha!

One day when I was having a meltdown, I remarked that such and such would have beenn easier...and God quickly spoke to my heart "I didn't call you to easy".... It hit me so hard like He had shouted it!

Easy ? No....but this just gives Him a chance to show His Glory and Grace through us!

On Purpose said...

Kala you and Jason are doing an amazing job. We loved meeting Henok. Full of energy? yes! Full of joy? Yes! Full of passion? Yes! And what excites me to no end is waiting in anticipation to see how God will direct and use this little boy to build up His kingdom...woo-hoo! Praying for you today and will continue to do so. Love you girl!

The Hull's at #4 said...

Hey Johnstons! So glad to hear that life is full for you, it's soooo much better than empty huh??!! Kiss Henok for us, we miss you guys! Sounds like your doing great!

Kim & Truett

Jen said...

I loved reading your update and can't wait to see more pictures! It sounds like you and Jason are doing an awesome job. Hope to see you at Bunco!!