Cried

So... I post the blog about God's goodness and Sunday night, I think in the wake of knowing I was starting new training and everything I just got overwhelmed. I went back to January when we lost the baby and in an instant I was bawling like a baby reliving the memories of sadness and pain. I think in those moments it's ok to let go. Jason held me and I just lost it. I got pretty overwhelmed and then I felt this whisper in my heart. God sweetly saying "I'm sorry for the pain, it's gonna be ok" And I lost it again. I'm so glad for a God who comforts over and over again even over the same hurts and pains and I needed that fresh reminder that it's gonna be ok.
I'm so excited to be adopting and beginning this journey but in that moment my sadness of the baby took over. Jason is sooooo good to me, he just held me and I was very transparent with him - it was a good time to just be together!

Anyway, today is Tuesday and things are good. I just talked with our case manager from AGCI (our agency) and went through the mountain that they term a "packet" hehe, I told her they need to rethink their terminology, slightly deceiving, but very helpful none the less. We've gotta a lot to do over the next few months, fingerprinting, medical exams, etc but all worth the prize!! I think I'm gonna journal for our new child this experience - so as we have our dreams and present realities of what adoption intails they will be able to look back years later and see how much we loved them before we knew their face or name. When they were just a dream in our hearts.

Nurse Assistant Training is going really good, I like it. Not much for the idea of bed pans and fecal matter I'm not gonna lie BUT keeping my eye on the prize getting to the holy grail (personally) the labor and delivery or mommy/baby floor. AHHH!! I can't wait. I know it's not all glamorous but to be the person that helps in those beautiful and tiring hours after delivery just floats my boat.
Well Faithie graduated from kindergarten today and wants a party, she is so my kid!! (I call my parents 2 weeks before my birthday to remind them it's coming - I like attention) and we decided to go to dinner at McD's which I loathe with a passion but will tolerate for my child, go see Kung Fu Panda ( a review to follow whether ya'll wanna know or not) and ice cream at coldstone. Should be a great night. I have high hopes of gaining a few un-needed extra pounds and rolling home like a dough boy. (No pics to follow that mess! :). ) I decided my meal of choice at McD's will be a fruit parfait, fries, and a drink water maybe if I'm a good girl, we'll see can't make any promises!


Thanks for tuning into another ADD moment in print and ta ta for now!