Sunday, June 8, 2008

Weekend fun!








So this weekend we went to Darin and Sabrina Millions wedding. What a day of answered prayer! Long have we waited on the Lord to send her a daddy for Campbell and for her to have a partner in life and Hallelujah it happened officially on Saturday. I wish we would've thought previous to driving an hour out of town to bring our camera to take pics but oh well that's our life now isn't it?? Always remembering after the fact! Hehe, oh well, what can I say?
The drive was beautiful and we stayed with an amazing family "The Youngs" who fed us like kings and queens and made us feel quite at home in their awesome house and took a gazillion pics of the girls.

When we got home I found our home study "packets" which must be lay terms for BINDERS FILLED WITH PAGES AND PAGES AND PAGES of documents. I've got quite the job ahead of me to read and begin the paperwork process. I'm good for it though!
Tonight our home group met and talked about prayer and watched a Nooma by Rob Bell called Open. I got pretty emotional and tried to hide it.. not sure how good I did at that but it's worth a shot eh? Through the last 5 months God and I have been on quite a journey of heartache, love, faith, freedom and trust. I just really want to publicly praise the God who gives and takes away. As we get closer to our "due date" for our baby in heaven today, my heart is sad but reassured that it's gonna be ok. I think back to the night I figuratively threw my hands in the air and cried out to my comforter how I couldn't do this anymore. The pain and guilt over the loss of my baby was too much. I remember feeling crushed under it's pressure and the instant relief he gave to my broken spirit. He is my comforter and my shelter, he did not forsake me.
The video reminded me of being in Spokane and praying with all my might for God to heal Zack, a little boy in our church who ended up dying of cancer at the age of 7. When I think back on that time I still can't believe he wasn't healed and my heart still breaks at the reality of what his parents had to endure. So this video hit my heart tonight and after watching it I'm sooooooo glad that I can look back and forward knowing I'm walking hand in hand with a God who won't let me go even when I may feel like he did.
So I go to bed tonight with a thankful heart, I think I will always think about the baby I will never hold or nurse or tuck in at night (cue my tears) and while it's not how I wanted it EVER and I don't know if I ever want to have to go through anything that painful again, my God was faithful to save me and I will praise him til the day I die for his never-ending patience and willingness to pick me up, dust me off, hold me and let me just be.
I hold tight to Jeremiah 29:11 "for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Our path after loss lead us to adoption and while I'm seeing it's not for the faint of heart FOR SURE, it's one of blessing, trial, perseverance, and love. As we journey with our Creator to expand our family I'm excited to see how this will all play out and meet the child that I carry in my spirit! Thanks for your prayers and GOOD NIGHT.
I start my training tomorrow if you think of me, PRAY, I'm nervous to be away from the kids every day all day for 5 weeks.
We also did some professional family pics today at Jeff and Joann's house (my inlaws) here's some extras: (note- these arent the professional ones )


Blessings,
Kala

2 comments:

niceray said...

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missy said...

I'll pray for you tomorrow as you start your program. Your blog is a beautiful testimony to who our God is!